Pump It
by THE Mrs Kyo Sohma
Summary: This is Kyo's version on BEP's Pump It song. Very stupid if you like it. Just read! oneshot... Should the rating be T or M? I don't care...


This is a oneshot. A stupid one. It's about Kyo "dancing" to BEP'S Pump It song when Shigure, Yuki and Tohru are "out". Just read on! Rated for… stupid dancing moves, stupid change in lyrics… and whatever you guys think it may be rated for.

This has nothing to do with anything in the manga, and they are a bit weird.

_Italics- lyrics _Some of the lyrics are changed, by the way. So be sure you **read the lyrics**. Kyo changed them, not me. Most of them aren't changed because I don't know what words to replace them. You guys might want to review it and give me some stupid words on the lyrics that were not changed, and then I'll change them.

Disclaimer: I don't own the bolster (you know, those things with those pillow, those long things. It really is a bolster, right?), the song, Kyo, Shi, Yuki and Tohru, but I do own this fanfic…

* * *

"Hey, you guys," Shigure called to Yuki and Tohru. "Come on. Let's go. We're gonna be late."

Yuki looked over his book that he was currently reading, and Tohru poked her head out of the kitchen. "Okay," they said, and went upstairs to change. Kyo looked from Shigure to the stairs, and then back to Shigure again.

"Where're you guys going? And why am I not invited?" he asked from in front the TV, crossing his arms.

"We're going to the supermarket for a few minutes, and you need to watch the house while we're out," Shigure replied, fanning himself with a hand fan. Kyo looked at him from top to bottom. He was wearing a smart suit, a handsome tie, his shoes were polished, and his hair was neatly in place with a hair gel.

"If you're going to the store, why are you dressed so smartly, like you're going to a fancy dinner or something?" Kyo asked.

" "Because the cashier there is a very pretty woman" ," someone said from the stairs, repeating Shigure's words that were said to him the day before. Kyo turned around and saw Yuki, who was all dressed up too. Tohru tailed behind him. She was wearing a pretty dress.

"And why are…" Kyo started to say, but Yuki stuffed his mouth with leeks.

" "If we dress fancily, the woman there will think we are from a very rich family, and then she would want to date me to get to my money which I don't have", " Yuki said again, saying the exact same words that Shigure told him. Kyo spit the leeks out, and picked up a bowl to throw at Yuki, who dodged it easily. Kyo picked up a spoon and a fork and threw it at Yuki again, but he again dodged it. Soon, the air was filled with _very _dangerous stuff thrown around by Kyo to hit Yuki.

"Um… You guys…" Tohru said, trying to stop them. The second Tohru said this, Kyo was on his knees, picking up the stuff that he threw. "Thank you. Shigure, Yuki, we should go now." She walked out of the room.

"And you guys agreed to help him? What an idiot," Kyo said. Yuki threw a pot at him and Kyo held his fury in while he continued to pick up the stuff lying around. "And why am I not invited?" he asked.

"Because you're ugly," Yuki said.

"Because you're ugly," Shigure mimicked. Kyo got mad and threw the stuff at them, but they were already out the door. He sighed and picked them up again. He looked out the window and saw Shigure's car going out the gates and disappeared around the corner.

Kyo laughed evilly to himself and went to the TV. He switched to a channel and hit the TV impatiently. "Where is it? When is it going to be on?" he shouted at the screen. "Aha! Yes! Here it is!"

"And this is a song request from… Kyo from Japan!" DJ Denise said. "He says here… Hi! Please play Black Eyed Pea's song "Pump it"! I really love that song! Dedicated to me, me and me! Please play it! If you don't play it, I will die and hunt you for the rest of my life!" Denise paused a while here. "Um, okay… Kyo… Here's your requested song! Enjoy it, and don't die!"

All this time, Yuki, Shigure and Tohru were peeking from the door, listening to everything. Shigure giggled a little. He knew this was going to happen, so he planned the "trip to the supermarket to meet the pretty cashier" thing. Yuki smiled a little, but Tohru was clueless as to what was going on. "Shigure, you really are a genius," Yuki said, and they went back to watching Kyo. The video clip was on.

_Ha ha ha  
Pump it in  
Ha ha ha  
And pump it in (harder) 4x_

Kyo turned up the volume, and he sang along, running around the living room pretending he was in a cool car like the BEPs, and banging his head in the air.

_Turn up the radio  
Blast your stereo  
Right_

Kyo "got out" of his car and "slammed" the door. He pretended to be William and started singing like him, but thank God he isn't wearing the same clothes as William does. He pretended the guy in front of Will, which he imagined was in front of him, to be Yuki.

_Niggas wanna hate on us (who)  
Niggas be envious (who)  
And I know why they hatin' on us (why)  
Cause our fucking style's so fabulous (what)  
I'ma be real on us (c'mon)  
Nobody got nuttin' on us (no)  
Girls are ridin' us, from London back down to the US (s, s)_

_We rockin' it (contagious), fucking business (outrageous)  
Just confess, your girl admits that we the shit_

He moved his body and head to the side, "evading" Yuki's punches towards him, and he "grabbed" his arm, yanked it around, sang in his ear, and let go of him.

_F-U-C-K-E-R-S (fuckers)_

Kyo ran his hands up his trousers that were covering his cock, and he imagined he was doing this to Tohru.

_  
D-E-F, that's right we fuck (porn)  
We definite B-E-P, we rapin' them  
So, turn it up (turn it up) 3x  
C'mon baby, just_

He did what Will did: made his opponent fly in the air.

_Pump it in (harder) 6x_

He rocked his "boobs", God knows where he got those lumps on his chest, like Fergie did in the video, and spinned around repeatedly and punched his fists in the air, like William.

_And moan, ah ah ah ah  
Moan, ah ah ah ah  
Yo, yo_

_Turn up the radio  
Blast your stereo  
Right now  
This joint is fizzlin'  
It's sizzlin'  
Right_

He "showed off" to Yuki, who was "lying" on the floor, beaten and admitted defeat. "Two weeks later," he said out loud. He grabbed a ball and held it in his hands.

_(Yo, check this out right here)_

_Dude wanna hate on us (dude)  
Dude need'a ease on up (dude)  
Dude wanna act on up  
But dude get shut like flavor shut (down)  
Chicks say, she ain't down  
But chick backstage when we in town (ha)  
She like man on drunk (fool)  
She wanna mount on us (sure)  
Yeah, that's the speed (faster!)  
That's what we do (fuck)  
That's who we be (fuckerss)_

_B-L-A-C-K -E -Y-E-D-P to the E, then the A to the S  
When we do you shake your boobs  
Shake it, shake it, shake it girl  
Make sure you don't loose them, girl  
Cause we gonna_

Kyo juggled the ball on his foot and "hit" Yuki on the chin. He imagined Yuki trying to hit him, and he was pretty proud that Yuki couldn't even touch him.

_Turn it up (turn it up) 3x  
C'mon baby, just  
Pump it in (harder) 6x_

He hit Yuki badly with the "ball", and imagined he just beat him up. And then he kicked the ball, which bounced from one wall to another, imagining he just made holes in them, and evading it while it "killed" his imaginary opponents.

_And moan, ah ah ah ah  
Moan, ah ah ah ah  
Yo, yo  
Turn up the radio  
Blast your stereo  
Right now  
This joint is fizzlin'  
It's sizzlin'  
Right_

And then he beat two more guys using the ball, and their friends dragged them out of the ring, and he took his ball and "went out" to be replaced by apl.de.ap, which is he himself.

_Damn (damn) 5x_

He tried to sing in the most Fergie voice he could get out, and ended up with a croak. He felt disappointed, because he rehearsed for the past three months already. But that didn't stop him from singing more. He ran around in circles in the room.

_Wow_

He jumped on the table and imagined he was running on men's chest.

_Kyo Sohma from Japan  
Live and direct, rocking this fuckin' scene  
Moving on faster for the yaoi boys  
And yuri girls fucking, doin' their thing  
Pump it in, harder come on  
Don't stop, and keep it pumpin'  
Do it, lets get it in  
Pump it in! Faster!_

_Come on, baby, give me head_

He jumped down from the table and replaced himself with Fergie. He raised his shirt up to below his "boobs", which he made bigger than Fergie's, stuck long strings of knotted rubber bands to his head, and then started dancing like her.

_La-da-di-dup-dup die dy  
On the playboy, playboy, playboy magazine  
Let those rabbits blow your mind  
(Blow my mind, baby)  
To let it cum, let it cum  
Here we go  
La-da-di-dup-dup die dy (c'mon, we're cumin')  
On the radio  
The fuckin' is gonna feel so fine_

He moved his body and hands around like waves, like Fergie did. He shook his "booty", which he did greatly, and hit it to the side, imagining Tohru was there. He jumped on the table and walked in small circles. He made his booty go around once, and then flicked around the rubber band hair in the air. He moved his boobs and bum to a slow mumbo (?) like Fergie did in the video, and then pumped his ass and hit his butt to Yuki who was trying to attack him from behind, who flew backwards even though Kyo didn't touch him. He flicked a finger at Shigure who was trying to attack him from his left, and then "hit" two men on his sides without touching them. Kyo smiled eagerly at what was coming next. "I've rehearsed this a million times a day, so don't disappoint me, boobs!" he shouted at his huge lumps. He looked at Fergie at the screen, and waited for her commands.

_Pump it in (harder) 6x_

He pumped his boobs in the air and sent four men thrown back because of him, and then acted as all the BEP members. He sang the lyrics loudly at the screen, and danced crazily like them. He then moved from the screen and picked up a bolster and then started "pumping it in fast", imagining Tohru moaning wildly there.

_And moan, ah ah ah ah  
Moan, ah ah ah ah  
Yo, yo  
Turn up the radio  
Blast your stereo  
Right now  
This joint is fizzlin'  
It's sizzlin'  
Right_

He punched the TV screen, and then ran around the room cheering loudly. "Yesssss!" he screamed at the top of his voice. After a few minutes of running and jumping and cheering, he finally stopped, a bit out of breath. He stretched and said, "Okay, let's clean this place up."

All the time that Shigure, Yuki and Tohru were watching, Shigure couldn't even laugh. "It's too funny," he said, and they walked back to the car around the corner like zombies.

(At dinner that night)

Kyo looked at everybody. Shigure was eating slowly, Yuki was picking at his food, blank eyed, and Tohru was staring at her plate. They were all very quiet. "Um…" Kyo said. "What's wrong with everybody?" They looked at him, their eyes dead like ghosts. Kyo looked at them, a little freaked out. They picked up their plates, moved slowly to the kitchen, left their plates there, and went up to sleep, even though it was Saturday tomorrow and still seven o'clock.

END

* * *

This story sux! But all the time I imagined Kyo "pumping his boobs" and "pumping it in hard against the bolster" …….. God that was stupid!

lmfao

mwahmwahmwah!


End file.
